


Nobody's Righteous, Nobody's Proud, Nobody's Innocent

by codenametargeter



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F, F/M, Morrigan's ritual is such a fun time, Polyamory, Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 04:56:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20942627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codenametargeter/pseuds/codenametargeter
Summary: The night before the battle with the Archdemon, Morrigan comes to the Warden with a proposition involving the other person the Warden loves. It's really not what any of them ever had in mind.





	Nobody's Righteous, Nobody's Proud, Nobody's Innocent

**Author's Note:**

> Listen. Sometimes, you're just bitter about not being able to romance Morrigan as a Female Warden even though you also really love Alistair and then you start thinking about the ritual and how it could possibly be more emotionally painful than it already was. And then this happens.
> 
> Oh. And your brain decides to write in in 2nd person because suffering. 
> 
> (Just in case it's not clear, the Warden is a female Cousland and is in a relationship with Morrigan and in a relationship with Alistair and all parties are aware and consented.)

"We need to speak," Morrigan says.

"I need to sleep. Can it wait?"

"It cannot."

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, armor weighing heavily upon your shoulders, almost as heavily as the conversation you've just come from with the other Grey Wardens. You love her as much as you love Alistair but you're too tired for this. "If you knew the meeting I've just come from--"

"But I do know. I know what happens when an archdemon dies. I know a Grey Warden must be sacrificed and that sacrifice could be you." 

That's as far as she gets before you gesture for her to step into your quarters and shut the door behind. And then you listen as she explains the ritual that could save your life and Alistair's too. When she falls silent, you ask, "Is this a joke?" The look on her face answers that and then you can't stop the words. "You're telling me that the only way to save my life if Riordan fails tomorrow is to use old magic to conceive a child that will take the soul of an old god and you're going to do this by having my future husband sleep with you."

"If I could do this with you instead of him, I would but you lack some necessary..." Her gaze flits downwards. "Parts."

"He's going to hate this. He's only just come to peace with the idea of you two sharing me."

"And you? Do you also hate this?" There's an intensity in her golden eyes as she asks that sees right through you.

Your knees buckle and you sit on the bed because it's the only reasonable thing to do. She sits beside you but leaves some space between. You don't know if you're grateful for the consideration or hate it. Either emotion feels like too much to handle right now so you go for a bad joke that isn’t really a joke. “This isn’t what I meant when I said my fantasy was the two of you in bed.”

Things between them are better than they once were but she still sneers at the thought. “I do this to save you.” 

“And what happens afterwards?”

“You kill an archdemon and live to tell the tale.”

You shake your head. “No, I mean what happens to the child?”

“I will raise it, away from here.” 

“Morrigan, you _ can’t_.”

“Lover or not, do not presume to tell me what I can and cannot do.”

“That child will be the heir to the throne of Ferelden!”

“The child shall be mine to raise as I wish and I wish to raise it far away from all of this. It need not be something you concern yourself with.”

The full weight of her words just about knock the wind out of you. “You’re leaving,” you say flatly.

“After the battle, yes.”

“You’re leaving _ me_.”

“What does it matter?” Morrigan asks, the first traces of bitterness creeping into her voice. “You intend to leave me either by marrying him or nobly sacrificing yourself for the greater good.” 

Your mouth goes dry. “I... that’s not—”

“Tis of no matter now. Convince Alistair to partake in the ritual with me. I would not see you die tomorrow.”

That’s the point at which you can’t take it anymore and you take her face between both your hands and crush your lips against hers, kissing her desperately as if the world depends on it. Maybe it does. A wave of relief washes over you when she kisses you back. Maybe she doesn’t hate you for everything with Alistair after all. You’ve always been clear with both of them that you don’t love one of them more than the other but it’s not hard to understand why she could take the marriage as a declaration even if it was decided for the good of Ferelden.

“You must see this offer for what it is,” she says when your lips part. “I would not offer this if I did not love you, not even for the power of an old god.”

“Then don’t leave.” You’re begging her now and you’d get down on your knees if you thought it’d help. And then you decide that it can’t hurt so you slide off the bed to fall to them, kneeling beside her with one of her hands in both of yours. “Morrigan, please.” 

“You cannot control all. Some things must be as they will be. And this is not your decision to make.”

“Then what is?”

“Will you convince Alistair to lie with me to save both of your lives?”

You know what the answer is before you even rise to your feet.

Alistair looks about how you expected and how you felt before Morrigan found you: tired and stressed. The possibility of death doesn’t sit on his shoulders any more comfortably than it does yours. Still, his face lights up as soon as you step inside his room after knocking. “Oh good! I didn’t want to spend what might be my last night alone.”

“We’ve already shared a bedroll,” you shoot right back even though it sounds weak to your ears. “I don’t think you need to use the ‘we might die tomorrow’ line.”

“It was that or something about being your king.” 

“The one you used was better.”

“That’s what I thought too.” His smile doesn’t reach all the way to his eyes but you know it’s not about you. It’s about-- “So. Riordan’s revelation. I wonder if there are any other Grey Warden secrets they haven’t told us yet. Maybe the next one will be nice.”

You lick your lips before you take a deep breath and say, “That’s actually why I’m here. There’s another option.” 

He stays quiet until you finish fumbling your way through a hesitant explanation of the ritual. Only when he’s sure you’re done does Alistair say, "This is a joke."

A laugh escapes you before you can stop it. "That's exactly what I said to Morrigan." 

"This is payback, right? For all the jokes?" The moment when he realizes it isn't hurts more than you thought it would. He straightens up and turns away. "You're not joking. You're actually serious."

“I wish that I wasn’t but…” You gesture helplessly. “I know you don’t like this.” 

“Like this?” His voice is almost mocking. “I hate it.” That’s not surprising. He starts pacing. “Morrigan and I barely tolerate each other. She thinks I’m dumber than your dog-”

“Most people are,” you say, hoping a moment of levity will help.

It almost does but he keeps talking. “-and I can’t stand her attitude but we have a truce because of you. We both love you more than we could ever hate each other.”

You know this. You’re grateful for this. You’ve told them both a dozen times.

“I don’t want to… with…” He flushes red, stumbling over the words. “You know it’s only ever been you. I only ever want it to be you.” 

It’s hard to look at him without feeling an overwhelming wave of guilt and shame. You shouldn’t have to ask this of him. You should have just stuck with your first plan, Morrigan’s ritual be damned. But you love him, you love both of them too much to not take this chance even if it’s going to hurt him right now. “Does it help to not think of it like sex? It’s just magic.” 

“I honestly don’t know if that helps but thank you for trying.” He means that last part.

Quiet fills the room, interrupted only by the crackling of the fire. He’s stopped pacing now so you step forward to take his hands in yours. “You don’t have to do this, Alistair. Riordan might succeed. There could be another way we just don’t know about yet.”

That’s what breaks him. He sighs, shoulders slumping forward despite the armor. “No. I need to do it, my dear, because it’s the only way I know to save you.” 

“Save me?” you ask, forcing a laugh. “It’s to save you too.” 

Shaking his head, Alistair says, “No, it’s not. I know you better than I know anyone. If Riordan fails tomorrow, you’ve already planned to take the final blow yourself because you think it’s your duty as a Grey Warden and to Ferelden.” You swallow hard because he’s right. You’d already thought this through before you’d made it ten steps from the Wardens meeting. Alistair is king now. He has to live for the sake of Ferelden. You’re expendable by comparison. “I can’t let you die if there’s something in my power to prevent it.”

You kiss him because you don’t know what else to do, fingers threading through his short hair as he pulls you to him, kissing you back in quiet desperation. A part of you wants to sob because this could still be your end or maybe even his and if this is your last night in this world, this isn’t how you wanted to spend it. But what choice do any of you have? (There’s a choice, there’s always a choice.) 

Morrigan rises to her feet as you lead Alistair into the room. “You have decided then?”

Alistair clenches his jaw and nods. “Yes.”

“She has explained all to you?” Another nod. She explains again anyways. “This is old magic; nothing more, nothing less. When it is done, you need not think of the deed again except to know that both of you will survive striking the killing blow tomorrow. The child will not be your concern. Do you understand?”

“I don’t like anything about this,” Alistair says, avoiding the question. “But I’ll do it for love.”

Morrigan’s gaze softens. “As do I.”

“Do you want me to stay?” you ask quietly. “I can if you’d like.”

They exchange looks and for once, appear to be in complete agreement without an argument first. “No,” Alistair says. “I think it might be best if you don’t.”

“It will not be as unpleasant of an experience as you might fear,” Morrigan says dryly, “but yes, I agree. We will tell you when the deed is done.”

They are the ones giving of themselves tonight so you’re content to do as they wish. You swallow hard and say, “I love you.” Alistair’s closest so you step forward to kiss him tenderly first. “Both of you.” You kiss Morrigan next, careful to keep the kisses similar. It won’t do to show favoritism. Not ever and not right now. “Thank you.”

Your mabari hound pads along at your side as you leave the room and head down towards the kitchens. Maybe a cup of tea and his company will distract you. It doesn’t work though. All you can think about as you stare into the fire is what happens in the room above between two people who love you more than they hate each other. And you think of what might happen in the battle tomorrow. It has to be worth it. It all has to be worth it.

Anything else is unthinkable.


End file.
